It's been almost a year...

It's been almost a year since my darling boy, Danny, went missing. If you don't know the story you can read about it in the blog archives for June 2007.

I still miss him, a lot.

I still look at the empty armchair where he loved to sit [see above].

I know in my heart he's not coming back but there's a small part of me that hopes he is going to return on June 1st, 2008, exactly a year to the date he went missing.

I realised quite quickly [well within a few weeks] that I had to let go. It wasn't healthy for me to keep checking the missing dog website. We had done all we could do when he initially went missing with regards to reporting it to the police, online at various missing dog websites, contacted the local dog warden and those in surrounding areas, the country ranger, put up posters etc. My hubby even took some posters to the local school and the headmaster asked the children in assembly if anyone had seen Danny.

The problem I found with the missing dog website was that if I wasn't careful it could become an obsession for me. There were many well-meaning people who checked it and desired to help but some bordered on the fanatic. One day I got a call from three different people claiming to have seen Danny in three totally different areas miles apart. When I asked the people did they notice anything about his ears, none had, which was very strange. They were the first thing anyone would notice about him. They were extremely long and pointed and one was damaged. So one pointed up and one pointed down. He looked more like an Australian Kelpie really than a Border Collie.

What happened to him the night he went missing I shall never know, that's what haunts me the most. I think it would have been easier if I had known, even if I had to live with the fact that he got run over or shot by a farmer. But then again, maybe nothing like that happened and it's possible he is having the time of his life living with some other family -- I do hope that's the case.

Writer's Stasis?

I don't believe in writer's block [not unless the writer is ill or suffering from depression that is]. However, I do believe in Writer's Stasis? What is this strange condition you might well ask.

It's when the writer [you or me] comes to a standstill. Not that they can't write but they won't write. This happens to me at least once or twice a year.

It's happening to me at the moment. I know I will write again but I have to recharge my batteries. My system is overloaded with words and unfinished manuscripts. How I wish I was the type of person who could start a task and finish it without going off at a tangent and starting yet another. If only it were so. Instead, I might start off very well writing three chapters of a novel and then go and start another! Yet, this process seems to work for me. All the manuscripts will get finished in time.

This is the best dictionary definition I can find to explain what I mean by the term 'Stasis':

Main Entry:

sta·sis

Pronunciation:

\ˈstā-səs, ˈsta-\

Function:

noun

Inflected Form(s):

plural sta·ses \ˈstā-ˌsēz, ˈsta-\

Etymology:

New Latin, from Greek, act or condition of standing, stopping, from histasthai to stand — more at stand

Date:

1745

2 a: a state of static balance or equilibrium : stagnation b: a state or period of stability during which little or no evolutionary change in a lineage occurs

So, in effect I am a stagnating writer, but I comfort myself with the thought that even people who stand still for a long time eventually have to move again, and perhaps I am doing that today by writing this post!

American Heritage Dictionary stag·nant

Not moving or flowing; motionless. Foul or stale from standing: stagnant ponds. Showing little or no sign of activity or advancement; not developing or progressing; inactive: a stagnant economy. Lacking vitality or briskness; sluggish or dull: a stagnant mind.