Valentine's Day: Extreme Couponing!

Thinking of doing something a little unusual for Valentine’s Day this year?  Why not try ‘Extreme Couponing?  When I first read of it today I thought it might be coupon cutting in excess or a new sexual position.  The latter would be the nearest though, although plenty of freebies of SPAM and other grocery items would have come in handy.

Apparently ‘Extreme Couponing’ is when a sexual partner devises ‘a wicked coupon book full of naughty commands and fiendish challenges. From spankings to bondage to erotic play with household implements...’ according to its author, Sabrina York.

It’s also a popular US TV show with an entire different meaning.

I might give that one a whirl.  The book I mean not cutting out supermarket coupons!!

If I’ve piqued your interest, you can purchase the book here:

http://www.ellorascave.com/extreme-couponing.html

When Less is More

I never push quantity over quality when it comes to writing.  In most cases, less is definitely more and I’ll tell you why.  When I edit and revise my novel manuscripts I often find extraneous words that need to be removed.  Words and phrases I have habit of overusing are ‘that’, ‘for a moment’ and ‘he or she felt’.  There are probably lots of other words I over use too, but those are the main ones I seek to remove or in some cases rewrite.

One of my editors asked me to remove around 4000 words from one of my novels.  And do you know she was absolutely right.  It made the story a much tighter read.  I often think writers get carried away with the use of flowery language too which isn’t much fun for the reader when they need a dictionary to look those words up.  Why use five words when one will do?

If you read some of the works by bestselling authors like, Stephen King, Jackie Collins and the like, you’ll find their works are tightly written, making their books a good read.  In other words their novels are page turners.

Another thing some authors make the mistake of doing is either writing too much back story or dumping too much information into the plot, instead of letting it slowly unravel.  I’ve been guilty of this in the past.  That’s where editing and revision come in.  Sometimes it can be a good idea to write the back story to get it out of the way for your own benefit, but then not include it in the story, or include it very sparsely.

I’m keeping this post brief, to show you ‘less is definitely more’!

Writing for Payment or for Art's Sake?

"For free or not for free - that is the question?"

Whenever the 'P' word -- PAYMENT -- gets a mention, writers are frequently up in arms. There appear to be two camps of thought: those that think we should all write for free, 'because it is our art', and those who want to get paid what they are worth as a writer. Of course, you yourself, might fall somewhere in between where you prefer to get paid, but will write for free for good causes or if it is to promote yourself.

Recently, I queried a new national magazine and submitted three articles for the editor to peruse. She was looking for columnists as well as article writers. Within the hour an e-mail arrived in my mail box, [the fastest response I have ever had from an editor], to say that she loved one of my articles and wanted to publish it in the following month's debut issue of the magazine.

Warning bells started to ring at her swift response. After all, most of my magazine queries have taken days, weeks or even months for replies. And as any serious writer knows, magazines work months, not days, ahead of time. Not only did she want to publish my article, she wanted to work with me for a further four editions of the magazine.

Sounds fantastic, right? Not so right. The snag was she didn't intend to pay me a single, solitary cent for my time, effort and expertise. It was a case of, 'We'll see how it goes and if we can pay you sometime in the future, then we will!" Well stuff that for a game of soldiers, which is almost what I told her, but not quite. Instead, I told her I thought that writers deserved to be paid and sent her a few helpful links so she could read up on why writers deserve payment. Cheeky, on my behalf, I know, but I was spitting feathers at the time. I didn't need the clippings that bad.

Now, all this is well and good, but when I pointed this out to one of my Yahoo writers' groups, apart from having a cyber pat on the back from some of my contemporaries, I was flamed off list for daring to suggest writers should be paid.

We're back to that art thing. I shouldn't be surprised. I recently attended a writers' workshop. One of the exercises was to write a poem or story in a short space of time. A writer sitting next to me, who I vaguely knew, came up with a fantastic poem off the top of her head. I said, "You are so talented. Have you been published anywhere?"

"No, certainly not!" she replied as if I had said something I shouldn't.

Then I made the mistake of using the 'P' word. "You know, you could get published and PAID for poems like that."

You'd think I'd hit her in the face with a wet fish. When she had got over the initial shock, she replied, "I couldn't possibly take money for something I love."

I just don't get it, but then again neither did she. Are some writers so precious about their words that they feel it is degrading to sell them? When I told her about some of my own publications, I got the distinct impression she thought I was some sort of writing floozie spreading it around a bit, and horror of horror -- for money, too!

You'll know you're being ripped off when:

1. You're writing for free for a magazine that runs paid advertisements or that sells a subscription, products and/or services.

2. You've brought your expertise (teaching, counseling, nursing, computing skills, etc.) into the article and you're still not offered payment.

3. Everyone else at the magazine is being paid. This includes the Internet provider, phone company, electric company, photographers, models, and editorial staff, right on down to the cleaners. Why should everybody else get paid and not you?

4. The magazine says they are giving you plenty of exposure, so why do you need to get paid?

5. Or, as one high profile website put it a couple of years ago when they suddenly stopped paying writers, 'If you were learning to play golf you'd have to pay fees, so why should you expect to get paid for something you love doing?'

You're not being ripped off when:

1. Your writing will help a charity or good cause close to your heart.

2. It will help further your career as a writer by advertising a product or service you're selling.

By the way, the editor of the new national magazine recently contacted me to say they would now be paying writers. Whether this was as a direct response to my cheeky e-mail, I don't know, but it couldn't have hurt, could it?

What is Confidence?

What is confidence? Is it the feeling of being better than others? Is it not being easily influenced by others? Is it not caring about what others think about you? Understanding what is confidence is important because naturally to gain confidence, we must first understand what it is.

According to www.dictionary.com, confidence is ‘the belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities.’

That is what confidence is, the belief that you are capable of doing something. When you have confidence you believe that you have the ability to perform something successfully.

Exercise # 1:

Close your eyes and think of someone who comes over to you as being a confident person.  This person might be a friend, a relative, a mentor, someone famous perhaps.  Now think what it is about that person that makes them appear so confident.

1.  What does he or she look like?

[Describe their appearance. Do they dress smartly? Hold their head high?  Smile a lot etc]

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2.  What does he or she do that makes them appear confident?

[Do they appear to know what they're talking about?  Do others like them a lot?]

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3.   What has he or she achieved?

[Is the person successful in some way?]

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4.  List 5 of your achievements [no matter how small]

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5. List 5 things you do well

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6.  List 5 encouraging things that people say about you

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7.  List 3 future goals

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The Importance of Goal Setting

January is a time when we think of making New Year's Resolutions, but I prefer to set myself goals.  Instead of saying what I can't or shouldn't do, I prefer to say what I can or should do!

Are you the sort of person who always has a goal in life? Or are you the sort of person that drifts along aimlessly never getting anywhere?

What is the importance of goal setting?

We set a goal in order to have something in life to aim for. It is vital that we strive to achieve something. If we do not then our very purpose to life seems to be missing.

Some children are lucky they know almost for as long as they can remember what they want to do with their lives. The little girl who wants to be a nurse, the little boy who wants to be a policeman. They may even be so forward thinking that they have their future career prospects all mapped out: the correct subjects to take in school so that they can train towards their future goal. But quite often, most of us get side tracked along the way and lose direction. It happened to me. I was one of those little girls who wanted to be a nurse. I took the correct subjects at school and a pre-nursing test, then trained to be a nurse.

I reached my goal of qualifying to become a State Registered Nurse, as they were called in those days. However, there were not that many jobs to go around at the time and I left the profession rather than work in the X-Ray Department or theatre, as it wasn't the type of nursing experience I wanted. As the years passed I trained in shorthand/typing and had a couple of clerical jobs. Then I had the children and worked in a mother and toddler group and a play group. As the children got older I decided to take a Diploma in Childhood Studies, which was a fairly high level course that could lead into social work or teaching. I was doing very well, and for the first time in my life I think it would have been fair to say that I was top of the class. However, this was at a cost. I became such a perfectionist, striving for distinction level in all my assignments that I burnt myself out. I left half way through the course, unable to return and felt that somehow I had lost my direction and was aimless.

I was mildly depressed for sometime, although I did not require any medication. Then one day I opened up "Woman's Weekly" magazine to see the offer of a "Women's Confidence Day" that was to be held at The Dylan Thomas Centre in Swansea. It sounded really good. For the cost of £15.00 I would have the chance to attend lectures held by the well known author and psychotherapist, Gael Lindenfield. It was to be a real pampering day, something to do for myself. I asked my friend if she was interested, which she was and I applied for tickets. 

When we arrived we met women from all over the United Kingdom, some had travelled for hours to hear Gael speak. We were greeted with a glass of wine and chatted amongst ourselves. Then we went into the lecture theatre to hear Gael speak.

Gael spoke about the importance of goal setting in our lives and to learn to set ourselves realistic and achievable goals. To think of our goals for the next month, six months time, a year etc. During the lectures we had a break for cream cakes and coffee, then we returned to hear more. We left with a bag of goodies to go home including a copy of one of Gael's books, and I left Swansea feeling inspired.

When I got home I immediately formulated a plan for achieving 3 goals, as Gael had suggested. I thought to myself: Now what would I really like to do with my life?

The 3 things I came up with were:

1. To train as a counsellor.

2. To join a local history group.

3. To make a new friend.

The funny thing was that I had intended to seek out a counselling course the year before at an open day at my local college, but somehow I had got side tracked and before I knew it I had got myself signed up for the Diploma in Childhood Studies, somehow I had veered off course.

I'm glad to say that I eventually achieved all 3 goals. Before training as a counsellor, I had been having nightmares about missing a red double Decker bus. I would run like mad to the bus stop and just as I got there it would drive off. One night I even managed to glimpse who the passengers were. It turned out to be my fellow students on the Diploma in Childhood studies course. As soon as I started on the counselling course, my nightmares stopped. I'm convinced that the bus represented my journey in life and how instead of 'missing the boat', I had missed the bus!

The second and third goals were achieved at the same time. I asked one of the mothers at my children's school, who I knew was interested in history if she would like to come to a local history group with me, this led on to joining a family history group and tracing my family tree back to 1704.

I can honestly say that goal setting has changed my life. 

I embarked on a career I enjoyed for many years and have an absorbing hobby: genealogy, and made a new friend and made many more since!

How to set yourself goals

•Start small at first and keep them realistic

•Try writing down your goals for the next month

•Type them up or write them neatly and display somewhere prominent

•Tick them off when you achieve them

•Treat yourself to something as a reward

•Don't be too hard on yourself if things don't work out as expected - you are allowed to change your goals

My goals for 2013 are:

* Write something new every day, preferably working on a novel or at least a post for my blog

* To keep sending my work 'out there' I've completed four novels and am in the process of writing another, so all need good homes!

* Not to be afraid to try a new challenge!  We all need shaking out of our comfort zones sometimes!