Magic Love Solutions

If you're on Facebook you might be interested in this inspirational group page that provides insight into the psychological and everyday behaviours of people in love, in lust or in hate. Free ebooks written by counselling psychologist, Thea Hartley and author, Lynette Rees.

For two days only ...we will answer psychological questions relating to relationships and offer a free relationship ebook on one of the following topics:

"Why Do I Always Meet Bast***s?"

"Secrets the Mistress Doesn't Want the Wife to Know..."

"Mirror Mirror on the Wall: Who's a Reflection of us All?"

"How to Make the Person I Want, Fall in Love with Me...

Visit and please like and share our page here:

http://www.facebook.com/MagicLoveSolutions

Internal versus External Conflict

Some writers make the mistake of using too much EXTERNAL conflict in their romance novels, something always has to be happening from the outside to affect their hero and heroine’s lives.  But what about what happens inside their hearts and minds?  This is INTERNAL CONFLICT and is just as important, if not more important on occasion, than what’s happening on the outside.

I’ll give you some examples of INTERNAL conflict from my own novels:

1.  In ‘It Happened One Summer’, Sandy Perkins has recently lost her fiancé in a motorbike accident, so when she has the chance to fall in love again, it holds her back as she fears losing the man she loves.  Without giving too much away, there is a black moment in the novel where all her fears come to the fore, which puts her through the mill.  There is a theme of LOSS throughout the book.

2.  In ‘Return to Winter’, Stephanie Baynham is brought back into contact with the man, Dylan Pryce-Jones, whom she had a brief encounter with the following year.   She had escaped to her grandparent’s hotel In Italy, only to return to the UK to find out her best friend, Sandy has arranged for Dylan to pick her up at the airport.  On seeing him again she is extremely conflicted at having to explain herself to him.  There is a lack of TRUST on both parts.

3.  In ‘A Taste of Honey’ Fran Santini is a hopeless honey trapper who sets up men for their partners to find out whether they would cheat or not.  Fran, who also works as a waitress at the family restaurant, faces internal conflict as she comes from an Italian Catholic family who would  disapprove of her side job.  Even worse, is the fact that her father employs Travis O’Connell , a Irish chef, who Fran encounters on his first day, realising he is the man she mistakenly tried to set up the evening before.  He accuses her of having low morals and she has to convince him otherwise.  Travis doesn’t TRUST Fran and Fran doesn’t TRUST men in general.

4.  In ‘Watching You’ Angeline Hamilton not only loses her father, she loses her  family home and job too,  when new owner, Sebastian Tremaine takes over Tarrington Manor House.   Angeline’s father had lost his family fortune through a reckless decision, causing Angeline to  not only lose her status in life, but cope with other losses too.  She has a huge sense of LOSS and ABANDONMENT  throughout the story, which affects her relationship with Sebastian.  Learning to TRUST him is difficult for her.

I find it helpful to compile character charts before writing a novel to find out more about my characters.  What was their family background? Does he or she have a favourite saying?  What’s important to them in life?  By asking those sorts of questions quite often other subconscious issues come to the fore, which later becomes the theme for one of my stories.

If something External is happening throughout the novel, is there any way this can affect the Internal?  If the hero or heroine has to face their own fears in some way via an External Conflict, this will ramp up the tension in the book.  For example if the hero were drowning and the heroine has to try to save him but it’s difficult for her as she watched her brother drown when he was a child.  Or if the hero lost his wife in a car accident but now he needs to let go to allow the heroine to get into a new car after learning to drive.

Fear ramps up Internal Conflict.  Allow your characters to face their fears head on and you’ll have some great Internal Conflict to use in your novel!

Happy Valentine's Day: Don't Get Conned by a Catfish!

~  Lynette Rees ~

*  What is a Catfish?  


No, I’m not referring to the sort that swims in the sea and ends up on your dinner plate... but the other sort of the human variety, so cunning and devious that they waste a lot of your time pretending to be someone they’re not.  All the while you might be investing your time on this new romantic interest that underneath it all, isn’t quite what they appear to be.


A Catfish is someone who creates a false profile usually on a social networking site like, Facebook, with the intention of duping you.  


What their motive might be is not always clear initially, but usually they are suffering from a low self esteem so post attractive photographs of someone else that often make them look like a supermodel, body builder, actor, or even the attractive girl or handsome guy next door.  


*  Why do they do this?


 They might do this in some instances as a case of revenge, to procure money, to feel powerful, alleviate boredom and definitely to get into your mind to make you want to fall in love with them.
*  What do all these people have in common?


They’re all too good to be true.  They often claim to be models, body builders, exotic dancers, actors, fashion designers or maybe something else that puts them in the public eye.


Catfishing has become so common that there was even a documentary made about the phenomenon, released in 2010, coincidentally called, ‘Catfish’.  Yaniv ‘Nev’ Schulman was duped by an attractive young woman called ‘Megan’ and they formed an online romantic relationship, exchanging texts and emails, which he was soon to discover was fake.  Ironically when he discovered ‘Megan’s’ real identity it was the person who posed as ‘Megan’s Mom’, who was catfishing him.  Nev, being a very forgiving kind of guy, even though ‘Megan’ had broken his heart, became friends with her alter ego, though this doesn’t usually happen.  Nev went on to create a successful MTV series based on this concept.


*  So how do you assure this doesn’t happen to you?


Well there are several red flags you can look out for:


1.  Does your love interest only display one or two personal photographs on their social networking site?   Do they look highly professional?  e.g., studio prints.  This might indicate they have lifted their photograph from someone else’s profile or web page.  If they are genuine they would most likely have several casual shots taken with family or friends too.


2.  Tagging.  Is there any sign of them being tagged in photographs with other people?  If not, it might be a sign they aren’t genuine.  Although this isn’t always the case as some people choose to disable the ‘tagging option’ on Facebook.


3.  Do they have very few Facebook friends?  That can also be a good indicator that the account is fake.  As Fakes often set up a few accounts with low numbers of friends.


4.  Do they refuse to give you their home and/or mobile/cell phone number when you ask?  If they do, they could well be hiding something here, like they are married/in a relationship or not the person they claim to be.


5.  Do they make excuses about meeting up with you?  Every time you mention meeting him or her, do they make an excuse or back out at the last minute with an incredible excuse.  Some Catfishes have been known to claim themself, or a family member, was rushed into hospital following injury or accident.


6.  Do they make excuses why they can’t talk to you on Skype?  For example, some will claim they haven’t got it installed or don’t have a webcam.  Skype is simple and free to install and webcams these days are dirt cheap or already built in to a laptop, so it’s a poor excuse.


7.  Have they told you much too soon that they are ‘in love’ with you?


8.  Do you just have a ‘gut feeling’ that this person is too good to be true and lying to you?
If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then there’s a possibility you might have been Catfished.


In the next article we’ll talk about what you can do to ensure you aren’t one of the many people out there who are conned by a Catfish.  Remember life is much too short to invest your time in someone who doesn’t deserve it and has not only conned you out of your time [and possibly money], but preyed on your vulnerable points by getting into your mind too.


** If you have any personal experience of being Catfished, please write to me at peaceful_writer@yahoo.com 

Part Two of this article is on this blog:
Visitnew 'How to Net a Catfish' blog here!

New Blog: How to Net a Catfish

This is a new blog my friend, counselling psychologist, Thea Hartley and myself have put together as we hope to collaborate on an e-book.  If you have any Catfish stories you would like to share, please contact me at peaceful_writer@yahoo.com

Meanwhile you can view the blog here:
http://catfished.blogspot.co.uk/

Valentine's Day: Extreme Couponing!

Thinking of doing something a little unusual for Valentine’s Day this year?  Why not try ‘Extreme Couponing?  When I first read of it today I thought it might be coupon cutting in excess or a new sexual position.  The latter would be the nearest though, although plenty of freebies of SPAM and other grocery items would have come in handy.

Apparently ‘Extreme Couponing’ is when a sexual partner devises ‘a wicked coupon book full of naughty commands and fiendish challenges. From spankings to bondage to erotic play with household implements...’ according to its author, Sabrina York.

It’s also a popular US TV show with an entire different meaning.

I might give that one a whirl.  The book I mean not cutting out supermarket coupons!!

If I’ve piqued your interest, you can purchase the book here:

http://www.ellorascave.com/extreme-couponing.html

When Less is More

I never push quantity over quality when it comes to writing.  In most cases, less is definitely more and I’ll tell you why.  When I edit and revise my novel manuscripts I often find extraneous words that need to be removed.  Words and phrases I have habit of overusing are ‘that’, ‘for a moment’ and ‘he or she felt’.  There are probably lots of other words I over use too, but those are the main ones I seek to remove or in some cases rewrite.

One of my editors asked me to remove around 4000 words from one of my novels.  And do you know she was absolutely right.  It made the story a much tighter read.  I often think writers get carried away with the use of flowery language too which isn’t much fun for the reader when they need a dictionary to look those words up.  Why use five words when one will do?

If you read some of the works by bestselling authors like, Stephen King, Jackie Collins and the like, you’ll find their works are tightly written, making their books a good read.  In other words their novels are page turners.

Another thing some authors make the mistake of doing is either writing too much back story or dumping too much information into the plot, instead of letting it slowly unravel.  I’ve been guilty of this in the past.  That’s where editing and revision come in.  Sometimes it can be a good idea to write the back story to get it out of the way for your own benefit, but then not include it in the story, or include it very sparsely.

I’m keeping this post brief, to show you ‘less is definitely more’!

Writing for Payment or for Art's Sake?

"For free or not for free - that is the question?"

Whenever the 'P' word -- PAYMENT -- gets a mention, writers are frequently up in arms. There appear to be two camps of thought: those that think we should all write for free, 'because it is our art', and those who want to get paid what they are worth as a writer. Of course, you yourself, might fall somewhere in between where you prefer to get paid, but will write for free for good causes or if it is to promote yourself.

Recently, I queried a new national magazine and submitted three articles for the editor to peruse. She was looking for columnists as well as article writers. Within the hour an e-mail arrived in my mail box, [the fastest response I have ever had from an editor], to say that she loved one of my articles and wanted to publish it in the following month's debut issue of the magazine.

Warning bells started to ring at her swift response. After all, most of my magazine queries have taken days, weeks or even months for replies. And as any serious writer knows, magazines work months, not days, ahead of time. Not only did she want to publish my article, she wanted to work with me for a further four editions of the magazine.

Sounds fantastic, right? Not so right. The snag was she didn't intend to pay me a single, solitary cent for my time, effort and expertise. It was a case of, 'We'll see how it goes and if we can pay you sometime in the future, then we will!" Well stuff that for a game of soldiers, which is almost what I told her, but not quite. Instead, I told her I thought that writers deserved to be paid and sent her a few helpful links so she could read up on why writers deserve payment. Cheeky, on my behalf, I know, but I was spitting feathers at the time. I didn't need the clippings that bad.

Now, all this is well and good, but when I pointed this out to one of my Yahoo writers' groups, apart from having a cyber pat on the back from some of my contemporaries, I was flamed off list for daring to suggest writers should be paid.

We're back to that art thing. I shouldn't be surprised. I recently attended a writers' workshop. One of the exercises was to write a poem or story in a short space of time. A writer sitting next to me, who I vaguely knew, came up with a fantastic poem off the top of her head. I said, "You are so talented. Have you been published anywhere?"

"No, certainly not!" she replied as if I had said something I shouldn't.

Then I made the mistake of using the 'P' word. "You know, you could get published and PAID for poems like that."

You'd think I'd hit her in the face with a wet fish. When she had got over the initial shock, she replied, "I couldn't possibly take money for something I love."

I just don't get it, but then again neither did she. Are some writers so precious about their words that they feel it is degrading to sell them? When I told her about some of my own publications, I got the distinct impression she thought I was some sort of writing floozie spreading it around a bit, and horror of horror -- for money, too!

You'll know you're being ripped off when:

1. You're writing for free for a magazine that runs paid advertisements or that sells a subscription, products and/or services.

2. You've brought your expertise (teaching, counseling, nursing, computing skills, etc.) into the article and you're still not offered payment.

3. Everyone else at the magazine is being paid. This includes the Internet provider, phone company, electric company, photographers, models, and editorial staff, right on down to the cleaners. Why should everybody else get paid and not you?

4. The magazine says they are giving you plenty of exposure, so why do you need to get paid?

5. Or, as one high profile website put it a couple of years ago when they suddenly stopped paying writers, 'If you were learning to play golf you'd have to pay fees, so why should you expect to get paid for something you love doing?'

You're not being ripped off when:

1. Your writing will help a charity or good cause close to your heart.

2. It will help further your career as a writer by advertising a product or service you're selling.

By the way, the editor of the new national magazine recently contacted me to say they would now be paying writers. Whether this was as a direct response to my cheeky e-mail, I don't know, but it couldn't have hurt, could it?