Saturday, June 06, 2009
Let down and letting it go
If there's one thing I really hate, it's being let down. It's happened to me a couple of times during this past week. One of the people who let me down is a family member that I love dearly. I could see it coming, and to be honest, I believe there is something behind it that I won't go into here.
I think the reason I take issues like this badly is because I go out of my way not to let people down myself, even though there are times like when I'm ill or have a specific need myself, I put them first.
I seem to spend my time thinking more about others than I do about myself.
It's got me thinking though that perhaps it's time I started to think about myself and my own needs more and then I wouldn't feel so bad when people let me down.
I haven't been on holiday for five years, apart from the odd couple of days here and there. So, I am going to book a holiday, hopefully for July, with my mother to somewhere on the coast, maybe Bournemouth or Torquay. I need to go away with someone who has similar values to myself. Someone who enjoys eating out and not penny pinching, someone who will try new things and experiences. The last thing I need is to go away with someone who is going to wind me up and stress me out.
My well is running dry and I need to top it up. I've given about all I can give, there's very little left. At least I recognise that.