I don't know why it is, but I feel decidely overwhelmed at the moment. I'm still not back into the swing of it with my writing, that's why I've decided to keep up this blog.
I just feel so tired. I'm waking up quite early and not getting enough sleep, and this week I've felt exhausted.
I don't think it's really writer's block. Personally, I feel people use that one far too often as a cop out. I can imagine that there are people who are grieving or ill who might not be able to write. But writing anything at all, like this, is not writer's block.
What can I do to feel less overwhelmed?
Well, one place I can start for definite is the wardrobe, to have a good old clear out. I have far too many clothes, particularly coats and jackets. I also have things I find it difficult to part with, such as old toys in the garage. I know that some of these things were given to me by my grand parents who are no longer here. Like the old sewing machine [a small Singer one] they bought me one Christmas and the small Spanish guitar they brought back from Spain.
I had a lot of fun with both as a child: the sewing machine for making outfits for my dolls, and the guitar, although I never learned to play it properly, it still had good use. I don't think the sewing machine is still working and my children have no use for the guitar.
I suppose it will be like losing a part of my grandparents if these things go. But my gran died nearly 10 years ago and my grandfather 19 years back. Maybe I've never really come to terms with their deaths.
I was looking at some clutter in the bedroom this morning and my inner voice said, "There's something you're not dealing with."
Deep down, I know what that something is. It's something lifechanging and if it happens I'll post about it here, but for time being it remains a big huge, heavy weight, bearing down on me. Making me feel overwhelmed...